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Creator's Blues

Have you ever found yourself questioning if true satisfaction is attainable? It's a thought that often lingers, especially when you discover that your deepest joy resides not in the end result, but in the intricate dance of creation itself. You appreciate the finished product with a humble nod, but the journey, the process - that's where the true exhilaration lies. Is this you?

I recall vividly the first time I had this feeling. I was young, Oakland Dynamite Pee Wee football. We boasted a formidable defense, and Donny Logwood's father playfully coined us the "ghostbusters." Each game he would play that iconic song the moment our defense hit the field, a touch of magic that I still cherish. We were just 11-12-year-olds, but that theme song made us feel invincible. If I've never said thank you to Mr. Logwood, which I'm sure I did because it meant that much, I say it here and now: Thank you. I don't know about my teammates, as far as taking such a gesture with them throughout their life journey and using it as a tool towards progress, but for me it was exactly that. It made me feel big, important. I'm not remembering it here now, I'm simply expressing it. Again, thank you.

That season, we conceded a mere 6 points, and our sole defeat came at the hands of the Richmond Steelers, in a 6-0 loss. We faced them a second time that year, in the Championship. Different outcome. "Oakland Dynamites triumph in a 6-0 win over the Richmond Steelers", the article read. Keverick Beverley, 29 sweep; a thing of beauty. Our defense, ahem, The Ghostbusters, did the rest. Got our 6 points back on them fools. Poetic justice.

Exciting right? One would think, but for me, while all my teammates celebrated with unabated enthusiasm, I stood there, oddly unaffected, contemplating, "Is this all there is to winning a championship?" That was the instant when I realized I'm most fond of, and I derive the most joy from, the journey, not the destination.

Fast forward, Yukmouth at Oakland Tech. Organized by myself and a trusted band of amazing misfits. (They're amazing now, but back then they were just misfits. Ha!) With the support of Rap-a-lot, we channeled funds into various school initiatives. The news covered the event extensively, and people applauded our efforts. Yet, once again, amidst the whirlwind of admiration, goodwill, and an absolute sea of people, I found myself thinking, "Is this it?"

The truth is, I thrive on the process itself. It's the ever-shifting, unpredictable, and arduous nature of any undertaking that genuinely excites me.The process is about constructing something from nothing. It's taking a raw, unattractive idea and nurturing it into a thing of beauty over time. The art of maneuvering, the chess-like strategy, the unyielding determination required, the unrelenting deadlines, and the countless "no's" encountered along the way - all of this blends into an amazing rush for me. I compare it to fatherhood, loving the woman I married, and an orgasm. However, this passion for the process is a double-edged sword. I've come to accept that I'm not entirely satisfied unless I'm immersed in these "creator's blues" or actively participating in the creative process. This is not a lament; it's a recognition that I'm inherently a creator, and my place is the ever-evolving journey.

I share this perspective not to complain but to shed light on the notion that contentment can be elusive, and it's perfectly okay. If you, like me, find your greatest joy in the process of creating, it can be both a blessing and a challenge. So, what can we do when we find ourselves tangled in the web of creator's blues, constantly craving the next journey rather than relishing the destination? Here are a few techniques to navigate this unique state:

  • Celebrate Milestones: While the process is exhilarating, it's essential to pause and celebrate the milestones along the way. Each completed project, no matter how small, is a testament to your dedication and creativity.

  • Embrace the Imperfections: Understand that the creative process can be messy, and not every endeavor will yield the desired result. Embrace imperfections as part of the journey, not failures.

  • Rekindle Inspiration: Seek out new sources of inspiration and challenge yourself with fresh ideas. Sometimes a new project or a change in direction can reinvigorate your passion.

  • Practice Mindfulness: Engage in mindfulness practices to stay present in the moment. This can help you appreciate the beauty of the process as it unfolds.

  • Connect with Fellow Creators: Share your journey with other creative souls who understand the highs and lows. Their insights and experiences can provide valuable perspectives.

  • Set New Challenges: Channel your need for the next project into setting new creative challenges within your current work. Keep things fresh and exciting by pushing your boundaries.

  • Reflect and Recharge: Periodically take a step back to reflect on your journey so far. Recharge, and remind yourself of why you embarked on this creative path in the first place


Ultimately, the creator's blues, if that's what it is, is a unique and beautiful state of existence. It's the realization that your heart truly belongs to the journey, and it's a testament to your unwavering passion. Embrace it, harness it, and let it guide you to create, innovate, and discover the beauty of the creative process, one exhilarating step at a time. After all, creatives forward the world. One Love

Sincerely, Smirkface, the Lemonade Man

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